How Addiction Ruins Relationships? Can you be in relationship with an addict?
Addiction is a complex and devastating issue that not only affects the individual struggling with it but also has an effect on relationships.
From eroding trust and communication to fostering codependency and abuse, addiction can slowly ruin the relationship.
In this blog, we’ll explore the multifaceted ways in which addiction undermines the foundation of relationships, leaving behind a trail of broken bonds and shattered lives. To understand more broadly how addiction plays a role in relationship struggles, it’s also essential to recognize what kills long-distance relationships, as addiction can be a significant factor.
Breakdown of Trust
When addicts go on therapy, they are supposed and encouraged to tell the truth. The practice of admitting our mistakes and flaws probably comes from Christianity and confession.
It is proven that we feel better and more confident and in peace when we are able to tell the truth about what we did.
However, addicts are often ashamed to admit that they consume their addiction again. Here, not only do they tend to lie to themselves and hide the truth, but they also lie to people around them.
“I didn’t drink again, I swear.”
“I didn’t take it again, I’m clean.”
They lie to themselves and to others. Even though they need help and it is hard for them to quit the substance of addiction, their behaviour creates uncertainty, unreliability and mistrust.
People around them observe their behaviour and know every subtle change in their behaviour when they use the substance of addiction. People around them know when they lie.
This repeated breach of trust can erode the foundation of the relationship, leading to feelings of betrayal, resentment, and suspicion.
When partners can rely on each other to be truthful and transparent, it strengthens the bond between them and fosters a deeper sense of intimacy and connection. When one partner repeatedly lies, it creates tension and negative emotions, often making people wonder why he doesn’t love me or care as he used to.
Erosion of Respect
One more answer to “How addiction ruins relationships” is a decrease in respect. With constant lies and inability to stick to their promises, people who are in relationship with an addict can lose respect for this person.
Addiction can lead to irresponsible and reckless behavior, such as neglecting responsibilities, engaging in risky activities, or exhibiting erratic mood swings.
This lack of responsibility and self-control can diminish respect for the individual’s ability to manage their life and make sound decisions.
Repeated instances of broken promises, lies, and deceit as the individual prioritizes their substance over their commitments to their partner leads to decreased respect. Partners may feel manipulated or exploited by the addicts’s behavior, leading to a loss of empathy for them.
This pattern of dishonesty undermines trust within the relationship, leading to feelings of betrayal and disappointment. It’s important to note that maintaining respect and trust in a relationship is a key component of the 7 pillars of a healthy relationship, which can be severely compromised by addiction.
Struggles with communication
When someone is under the influence of an addictive substance, their ability to communicate effectively and be emotionally available for their partner can be compromised.
Addiction to substances such as alcohol, drugs, or even addictive behaviors like gambling or gaming can impair cognitive functioning. When under the influence, individuals may experience diminished mental clarity, impaired judgment, and difficulty focusing or processing information. This can make it challenging for them to engage in coherent or meaningful conversation with their partner.
They also may spend extended periods away from home, engage in secretive or solitary behaviors, or become preoccupied with obtaining their next fix. This physical absence can leave their partner feeling neglected, lonely, and disconnected from the relationship.
Even when they are actually present, due to dealing with addiction, addicts might become defensive, withdrawn, or dishonest about their behaviors. This breakdown in communication can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and an inability to address underlying issues effectively.
For those looking to navigate difficult relationship dynamics, understanding how to end a situationship and stay friends can be particularly useful in maintaining a level of civility and understanding.
Emotional Distance
As a consequence of broken trust, respect and poor communication, addiction often goes hand in hand with emotional distancing.
Addiction can create emotional distance between partners as the individual with the addiction may prioritize their substance or behavior over their emotional connection with their partner. This can lead to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and emotional isolation for the partner, further straining the relationship.
In some cases, emotional distancing might make a partner feel as though they are in a relationship where they doesn’t touch you intimately anymore, exacerbating feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Financial Side of Addiction
Addiction often comes with financial consequences, such as spending money on substances or behaviors, legal fees, or medical bills. This financial strain can place significant stress on the relationship, leading to arguments, resentment, and instability as partners struggle to manage their finances and meet their obligations.
For example, people with a gambling or drug addiction may spend significant amounts of money on addictive activities. They may initially experience good feelings while doing it, which reinforce the addictive behavior.
But over time, the losses can far outweigh any gains. These losses can quickly escalate to staggering amounts, leading to financial instability, debt, and financial ruin.
Codependency
When one partner in a relationship struggles with addiction, it can lead to financial, emotional, and sometimes even physical codependence on their partner.
Because of financial burden, a non-addicted partner may feel compelled to step in and take care of finance. This financial codependency can lead to resentment, stress, and financial strain in the relationship, as the non-addicted partner may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of managing the household finances alone.
Addiction can also foster emotional codependency within the relationship, as the non-addicted partner may feel emotionally responsible for their partner’s well-being and attempt to “fix” or control their addictive behavior.
They may sacrifice their own needs and boundaries in an effort to support their partner, often at the expense of their own emotional health and well-being.
This emotional codependency can lead to feelings of helplessness or feeling like parenting your partner.
In some cases, addiction can lead to physical codependency. When an addict is experiencing withdrawal symptoms, such as vomiting, dizziness, or flu-like symptoms, their partner may find themselves in a caregiving role. They may need to provide support and assistance to their partner as they cope with the physical discomfort.
Witnessing a partner go through withdrawal can be stressful and anxiety-inducing for their partner. They may feel worried and uncertain about how to best support their partner and alleviate their symptoms.
Physical and Emotional Abuse
When a person is struggling with addiction, their behavior can sometimes lead to instances of physical and emotional abuse within the relationship, even if it’s not their intention.
Addiction to substances like drugs or alcohol can impair cognitive functioning, leading to impaired judgement, diminished impulse control, and decreased awareness of one’s actions. As a result, individuals may engage in physically aggressive behavior without fully realizing the consequences of their actions.
Also, when addicts with addiction experience withdrawal symptoms, they may become more prone to outbursts of anger or aggression. Withdrawal symptoms can be physically and emotionally distressing, making people act out in ways that may harm their partner.
Substance use can also lead to verbally aggressive or hurtful behavior towards a partner. Addicts may use insults, threats, or demeaning language to exert control or express frustration, psychologically harming their partner.
Impact on Family and Children
How addiction ruins relationships can be seen on family dynamics and children within the relationship.
Children may witness arguments, conflicts, or emotional outbursts between their parents, leading to feelings of fear, anxiety, and emotional distress. They may internalize the chaos and instability of the household, impacting their mental and emotional well-being.
This can lead that children take on adult roles and responsibilities at a young age. They may become caretakers for their parent, taking on tasks such as cooking, cleaning, or caring for younger siblings. This role reversal can rob children of their childhood and innocence, placing undue stress and pressure on them to fulfill adult responsibilities.
Social Perception
Being associated with someone who has a visible addiction is one more way how addiction ruins relationships. Friends, family members, and acquaintances may form negative opinions about your partner, assuming they condone or enable their partner’s behavior.
Being in a relationship with an addicted partner can raise questions about your personal integrity and values. Others may wonder why you remain in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction and why you have wounded feminine energy. This might lead to assumptions about your own character and decision-making.
For people who are parents, this can impact their reputation as a caregiver and role model. Concerns may arise about their ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment for their children, leading to scrutiny from family members, educators, or child welfare authorities.
This can result in social stigma and ostracism, as others may distance themselves from the individual or view them in a negative light.
How Addiction Ruins Relationships: Conslusion
Overall, addiction can severely undermine the health and stability of relationships, leading to breakdowns in trust, communication, and emotional connection. Addressing addiction often requires professional intervention, therapy, and a commitment to recovery from both partners, as well as a willingness to rebuild trust and repair the damage caused by the addiction.