In today’s digital age, where much of our communication happens through text messages you might want to know how to be bold over text.
not to be able to communicate clearly and boldly might be one of the anwers on what kills long-distance relationships.
Whether you’re expressing your feelings or expressing expectations from the other person, the ability to show boldness through written words can make all the difference.
In this blog post, we’ll explore reasons and motives why you struggle with being bold over text and teach you how to become more bold and impactful in your texts.
What does being bold mean?
Being bold can mean different things depending on the context, but at its core, it involves taking confident, decisive action, often in the face of uncertainty or fear.
Since both being authentic and true to yourself are important, knowing how to be bold with a guy is very similar to answering question how to be in your feminine energy with a man.
Boldness can look contradictory in different situations. For example:
Boldness in showing affection and attraction
When someone is bold in expressing affection or attraction, it means they are confident enough to openly clearly say they like someone.
One more example of boldness is taking the first step in asking someone out on a date, texting first sometimes, without worrying about rejection or judgment.
This kind of boldness involves vulnerability and a willingness to take emotional risks to build a connection with another person.
Boldness in setting boundaries and walking away
On the other hand, boldness can also manifest as the strength to walk away from situations that are not serving you. Or guys who waste your time without giving you want you want (love, relationship, commitment, mariage, friendship, you name it).
This kind of boldness is about self-respect and protecting your well-being, even if it means that for some time you will feel lonely or sad.
Let’s consider these two contrasting examples of boldness and explore how to apply them in text messages.
How to be bold over text?
In the next paragraphs we will go through the most common mistakes and how to fix them when you want to know how to be bold over a text.
Avoid ambiguous messages
Many people hide their true intentions and feelings in ambiguous communication and messages.
In the beginning, those ambiguous messages can be playful. Little mixed signals. Hot and cold game.
Probably everything longer than one month of playful mixed signals is too much.
You may fear being too crazy, direct or clingy, and potentially driving the other person away. But there is also a great risk that they are not going to understand what you want with them and what kind of person you are.
You might think that by giving a compliment and saying some kind thighs you are sending the right signals. But not all compliments and sweet talk show what are your intentions with that person.
Regular compliments, while nice, can easily be interpreted as just being friendly. If you want someone to know you’re interested in them as more than a friend, you have to go beyond general kindness.
Ambiguous vs. unambiguous messages
Let s see some example of how to change ambiguous to unambiguous messages.
🚫 “Your new haircut is cool.”
✅ “You look very attractive with your new haircut.”
🚫 “You always have good advice”
✅ “I love how thoughtful you are, and it’s one of the things I find really attractive about you.”
🚫”I had a great time today.”
✅ “I had an amazing time with you today, and I really like being around you. It feels like I could spend more time with you.
🚫 “Your car is very nice.”
✅ “I love that you know a lot about cars and have great style. It’s really attractive.”
🚫 “I want you to be serious/ tell me how you feel.”
✅ “I want you to be honest with me about your feelings for me and where you see this relationship going.”
🚫 “I want us to communicate clearly what we want.”
✅ “I want to know where do you see our relationship going in the future.”
Notice how first sentence commented object around the person, and therefore leaves a lot of space for misinterpretation.
But the second sentence shifts the focus directly to the person—how they look, their qualities, how they make you feel or how they feel about you. With second sentence you communicate that you’re interested in them as a whole.
Scary, right? 😀
Scary and bold. 😛
It’s important to recognize that while ambiguity may offer a temporary sense of security, it can also hinder the development of a genuine connection and intimacy in the relationship.
Don’t let your toxic pride win
Your toxic pride is actually a fear that you will be hurt or disrespected. Even though some amount of pride is good, if pride prevents you from being your authentic self and not expressing your desires, then it brings you more problems than protection.
It might feel like your pride is keeping you safe from rejection, disrespect, or humiliation, but it’s just short term protection.
For example, when you don’t tell someone you want a relationship, they might think you’re just not that into them but you still keep hanging around.
And what kind of impression does that leave about you? Like you are someone who takes things casually and is comfortable with the current situation. So, it is giving a completely opposite effect than what you wanted it to have.
Another problem is that since you didn’t say what you want, he might not feel the need to share what he wants either. This can leave you stuck for months, wondering what’s going on.
Your pride won’t save you from those months of confusion; it’ll actually keep you in that painful limbo because you were too proud or too scared to risk rejection by just being upfront.
Here’s an interesting tidbit from Bible, an interesting book with something for everyone, regardless of your beliefs:
The most repeated phrase in the Bible is “Do not be afraid.”
In your context of dating, being afraid of rejection is not being bold. You are not cool by playing teenager games (unless you are a teenager, then okay, have some fun).
Be assertive
Handling disagreements constructively plays a crucial role in being bold in texting because it allows you to assert your opinions and boundaries confidently while maintaining respect in your communication. When disagreements arise, it’s natural to feel hesitant or uncomfortable expressing your viewpoint, especially if you fear conflict or confrontation.
Try to assert your opinions and perspectives with confidence, rather than shying away from expressing them. This assertiveness demonstrates your willingness to stand up for yourself and your beliefs, which is a key aspect of being bold in texting.
If you dont clearly communicate your boundaries, they might assume you don’t have any boundaries. Not having boundaries is exactly opposite of why men like mean women.
By clearly articulating your thoughts, concerns, and boundaries, you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that your message is conveyed effectively. Clarity is essential for bold texting, as it allows you to express yourself with precision and impact.
Don’t try to be easy to be with
Often, people feel pressured to portray themselves as low-maintenance or “pick me” in an attempt to appear desirable and avoid being perceived as needy.
Low-maintenance is often portrayed as someone who doesn’t require a lot of financial or other kind of support.
However, low-maintenance people can also be someone who doesn’t require emotional effort. By emotional effort we mean:
- Consistency
- Clear intentions (knowing wehre both people stand in relationship)
- Trying to improving communication
- Willingness to work on your flaws
- Communicating goals
If you dive deeper in understading of this things, you will also learn that exactly this things are one of the 7 pillars of healthy relationship .
When you prioritize being perceived as “easy to be with” over your own needs and boundaries, you undermine your self-worth and value in the relationship. True confidence and boldness come from knowing and respecting yourself, not from conforming to others’ expectations.
No one is truly “easy to be with” all the time. In fact, many people believe that men like mean women who might be not so-easy to be with but definitely require certain emotional investment.
Truth is that we all have our own needs, preferences, and boundaries that deserve acknowledgment and respect. Trying to maintain a facade of perpetual ease and endless understanding for their low effort is not only exhausting but also unsustainable.
Being bold involves asserting yourself authentically, even if it means risking rejection. It requires the courage to speak up for your needs and boundaries and being ready to actually LEAVE if they are not met.
Do not insult
Being bold doesn’t mean being disrespectful. When you refrain from insulting others, you demonstrate respect for their dignity and opinions. This respectful approach actually strengthens your boldness because it shows that you can assert yourself confidently without being provoked.
Insults often distract from the main issue at hand and can escalate conflicts unnecessarily. By avoiding insults, you keep the focus on the topic of discussion. That allows you to address concerns directly and assert your viewpoints more effectively. This clarity and focus enhance your boldness because you’re able to navigate the conversation with purpose and conviction.
Boldness is not just about asserting yourself; it’s also about doing so with integrity and honor. When you uphold a standard of not insulting others, you strengthen your own credibility.
Be ready to let go
With being bold comes the risk of rejection.
There is no profit without risk, so there is no boldness without possibility of rejection.
If he rejects you, instead of lashing out or becoming defensive, you should maintain a composed and respectful demeanor. That will prove your confidence and strength of character. It also shows that you don’t derive your value from external validation. Instead, you rather have your own self-assurance and inner strength.
If he keeps sendind mixed signals and you dont know where your relationship stands for months, you might want to know how to end situationship and stay friends.
One more important thing is:
Do not spend a lot of time thinking “why did he reject me”, “why he doesn’t love me” , “why did he text me after 2 weeks” and so on.
You may never fully understand someone else’s reasons or intentions, and that’s okay. Instead, focus on accepting the rejection gracefully and moving forward with your life.
Acceptance is key to moving on and allowing yourself to be open to new opportunities and connections. By accepting the rejection and moving on, you continue pursuing your goals and aspirations with confidence. Ultimately, being bold means embracing life’s challenges with courage and determination, even in the face of rejection.
How to be bold over text?
To be bold while texting a guy, you can take the initiative to start conversations with him. Starting the conversation shows confidence and interest. Avoid vague or ambiguous messages that could be misinterpreted.
Don’t be afraid to flirt or compliment him genuinely. Also, make sure that you show genuine interest in him by asking questions about his interests, experiences, and opinions. Engaging in meaningful conversations demonstrates confidence and curiosity. Also an important thing in the process is to assert your boundaries and communicate what you’re comfortable with. Being bold also means standing up for yourself and what you believe in.
Being bold with a guy over text involves confidently expressing yourself while maintaining respect and authenticity.