How to check loyalty in long distance relationship?
One of my dear friends once asked me: “how to check loyalty in long distance relationship?”
It little bit found me off guard but I answered to her: Well, how to you CHECK loyalty in general?
Her answer included checking someone phone, checking their personal space such as his room, house, monitoring their friends and the like.
Lets explore creative ways how to check loyalty in long distance relationship!
Checking on their space
When people feel suspicious or insecure about their partner’s loyalty, they may be tempted to search through their partner’s belongings or personal spaces, such as their home or car, in search of evidence of infidelity or disloyalty.
This could involve looking for incriminating items, such as receipts, clothing, or belongings belonging to another person. They are trying to find proof of wrongdoing and validate their suspicions, but it can also stem from a lack of trust and insecurity within the relationship.
Long distance relationship:
In remote relationship, you probably dont have access to their spaces. However, you might video call them and ask to show you details about their room or car.
(Hello, I was wondering about that wooden floor you have, can you show me more closely, I want to see is it matt or shiny.)
This way you can catch some details in their space that seem suspicious.
Fun fact: most people who cheat don’t pay a lot of attention in hiding all the small evidences because they are too occupied with pretending that everything is normal. Also, it is emotionally and physically challenging to be intimate with more people so they are negligent about the details and you can easily catch this details that you are looking for.
Checking their phone and social media
Some people may feel tempted to check their partner’s phone or social media accounts to monitor their communication with others. This could involve checking text messages, call logs, social media messages, or emails for any signs of suspicious activity.
Long distance relationship:
If you are honest and open with your partner, you can tell them that you feel insecure and ask them openly about their communication with others.
Some of examples how you can make him show you:
- How about we do something spontaneous? Let’s pick each other’s most recent message to read. I bet it’ll be hilarious!
- I bet your messages are just as charming as you are. Mind if I take a peek?
If they become defensive, that is a red flag. However, if they appreciate you, they will try to help you feel relieved and trust them. In this case, you can also ask them if they can give you access to their social media or screenshot of their conversations.
Observing Consistency and Reliability
Observing consistency and reliability in a long-distance relationship involves paying attention to the patterns of behavior and communication that demonstrate trustworthiness and commitment.
Consistency in communication entails maintaining regular contact with your partner, whether through messaging, video calls, or phone conversations, according to agreed-upon schedules or preferences.
Reliable communication involves being responsive and attentive to your partner’s messages and actively engaging in meaningful conversations.
If your partner suddenly stops being consistent and reliable in a long-distance relationship, it could potentially be a sign of infidelity. Sudden changes in communication patterns, such as long periods of unavailability could suggest that they are diverting their attention elsewhere.
If your partner starts breaking promises or missing commitments that were previously important to them, it may signal a shift in their priorities or level of dedication to the relationship. For example, canceling planned visits, neglecting to send promised care packages, or failing to follow through on agreed-upon arrangements could indicate a lack of investment in the relationship or potential distractions outside of it.
Pay attention to emotional absence
Consistent absence can be a sign of infidelity or indicate underlying issues within the relationship, such as a lack of commitment or emotional disconnection.
Emotional absence can manifest as hot and cold behavior, where someone alternates between being affectionate and distant. For example, they may become defensive or evasive when questioned about their behavior, avoiding providing clear explanations or becoming secretive. They also may keep avoiding meaningful conversations or deflecting discussions about the future. This emotional withdrawal could be a result of investing their emotions elsewhere or feeling guilty about their actions.
One more examples of emotional absence are mixed signals. Periods of intense affection followed by sudden withdrawal and fluctuating emotions, can be indicative of potential infidelity. The inconsistency and unpredictability in their behavior may suggest that they are emotionally or physically invested elsewhere.
Seeking Confirmation
Before approaching your partner, take some time to reflect on the specific behaviors or actions that have triggered your concerns about their loyalty. Consider any patterns of behavior, inconsistencies, or red flags that have raised doubts in your mind. Having a clear understanding of your concerns will help you articulate them more effectively during the conversation.
Choose a time when both you and your partner are calm, relaxed, and free from distractions. Approach the conversation with honesty, empathy, and vulnerability. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns without placing blame or making accusations. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve been acting suspicious lately,” you could say, “I’ve been feeling worried and insecure about our relationship, and I’d like to talk about it.” By framing the conversation around your own feelings and experiences, you create a non-confrontational space for dialogue.
Use the conversation as an opportunity to seek reassurance and clarification from your partner about any doubts or suspicions you may have.
If he really cares about you, he wont have problem with giving you reassurance and being there for you.
Trust your intuition
Don’t mistake your intuition for fears and insecurities. People usually say that they feel anxiety in their chest, that it is recurring in a period of time and that it feels unpeaceful. On the other hand, intuition is a sudden thought or feeling that comes one time and it is not something very peaceful. With intuition, you know what you need to do, it is clear to you, and even though it is scary, you feel like this is your call. Also, people say they feel it in the abdomen, or in the whole body, not only in the chest.
When you experience unsettling feelings or gut instincts about your relationship, take the time to explore and examine them more closely. Ask yourself what specific behaviors, interactions, or circumstances may be triggering these feelings and why they’re causing you concern. Reflect on past experiences, patterns, and your overall perception of the relationship to gain clarity on the source of your discomfort.