How to End a Situationship and Stay Friends? 5 Tips to Find Peace
What is situationship in the first place?
A “situationship” is a term used to describe a romantic or intimate relationship that lacks clear definitions, boundaries, or commitment. Unlike traditional relationships that often involve clear labels, exclusivity, and long-term commitment, a situationship is characterized by its ambiguity. People in situationships may engage in activities typical of romantic relationships, such as spending time together and being physically intimate, but they may not have a formal commitment or a clear understanding of the nature of their relationship.
Situationships can arise for various reasons, such as uncertainty about the future, fear of commitment, or a desire to keep things casual. Individuals involved in situationships need to communicate openly about their expectations, intentions, and desires to avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both parties are on the same page.
Why there is more and more situationships?
The term “situationship” gained popularity in modern dating and relationship discussions as a way to capture the complexity and ambiguity that some individuals experience in their romantic lives. It became more widely used in the context of contemporary dating culture, where traditional relationship structures and norms have evolved.
Changing Dating Culture
In recent years, there has been a shift in dating culture, with more people exploring non-traditional relationship dynamics and avoiding strict labels. This has led to an increase in relationships that don’t fit neatly into categories like “casual” or “exclusive.”
Communication Challenges
With the rise of online dating and social media, communication has become more fluid but sometimes less clear. People might engage in romantic or intimate activities without clearly defining the nature of their relationship, leading to situationships.
Fear of Commitment
Some individuals may be hesitant to commit to traditional relationships due to various reasons, such as career priorities, personal goals, or past relationship experiences. Situationships provide a more flexible and less committed alternative.
How to end situationship and stay friends?
Ending a situationship and maintaining a friendship can be challenging, as it involves open communication, mutual understanding, and respect for each other’s feelings. Here are some steps to navigate the process.
Check your emotions
Ask yourself what you really feel, need, and want. Do you want commitment, a relationship that leads somewhere and clarity about where you stand? Remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting these things. It doesn’t make you look weak, vulnerable, needy, loser, less cool or the like. It makes you a mature grown-up being that knows what they want.
Or maybe you want all of the above but not with that person, so you want to step back.
Or dont want any of those and just want to leave and do something else.
Before telling them how you feel, be honest with yourself and try to be comfortable with what you want.
Be Clear and Direct
Choose a time when you both can focus on the conversation without feeling rushed. When you are having the conversation, be honest about your feelings and intentions. Clearly express that you feel the need to end the situationship and explain your reasons. If you think that they are guilty of a pattern of behavior that you don’t like, try not to blame them because you can get in the loop of fighting, making up and continuing the situationship. To avoid it, frame your statements using “I” rather than “you”. For example, say, “I feel that it’s best for me to end this because I feel this and that”, “I want, I need” rather than “You always…”
Acknowledge the Positive Aspects
If there were more positive aspects than negative ones, acknowledge them.
If not, skip the whole paragraph and check “Why do you want to stay friends?”
Mentioning positive aspects softens the impact of the conversation and shows appreciation. It also helps to express that you genuinely want to maintain a friendship. When saying that you want to be friends, try to be clear about what that means to you. (Or else you could accidentally continue the situationship 😛 )
If you really have to, let the person know that you value their friendship and would like to continue that aspect of your relationship.
Give Them Space
A lot of SPACE! 😜
So that they can find another situationship. 😂
Now, if that sentence poked you, you should not stay friends because you dont have only-friendly-feelings.
After the conversation about breaking up, give each other some space to process the emotions and adjust to the new dynamic. This can be a challenging time, and allowing for a bit of distance can be beneficial.
Part of giving space is also setting and respecting boundaries. Clearly define boundaries for the post-situationship friendship. Discuss what interactions are comfortable for both of you and what might need to change to ensure a healthy and supportive friendship.
Periodically check in with each other to see how you both are adjusting to the new arrangement. Open communication can help address any lingering concerns or challenges.
Give yourself time
Go eassyyyyyyyyyyyy on yourself, baby
Transitioning from a situationship to a friendship takes time. Be patient with each other as you navigate the complexities of the new dynamic.
GENTLE REMINDER: If after some time one of you realizes that it doesn’t work and that you should go separate ways and avoid communication, it is okay. You are strong, you will survive and find something better. ❤️
Why do you want to stay friends?
Maybe you shouldn’t.
Staying friends after any kind of break up is tricky. People heal in different ways, they need different periods to heal and they have different needs to heal. Some might want to start dating someone new very soon, and in the case of staying friends, this could hurt or make other people uncomfortable.
One especially true thing: Person who you were with, and the person who you broke up with, might not be the same person. (See example of Kris Jenner and her ex husband Caitlyn 😀 )
Individuals may have different expectations regarding the nature of the post-breakup friendship. If one person hopes for reconciliation or still harbours romantic feelings, while the other sees the relationship strictly as a friendship, it can lead to miscommunication and frustration. Moreover, the dynamics that led to the breakup persist even in a friendship. If the relationship had toxic or unhealthy elements, these patterns may continue and keep ruining your newly single days!
(And newly single days are meant to be spent enjoying, drinking your hot coffee/tea, reading your book or watching a good Netflix show. And ofcourse – learning more about amazing yourself and your needs!)
Why is ending a situationship so hard?
Ending a situationship can be challenging because it often involves complex emotions and blurred boundaries. Unlike official relationships, situationships lack clear commitments and expectations, making it harder to navigate closure. Additionally, individuals may fear loneliness or the uncertainty of what comes next, leading them to prolong the situationship even when it’s not fulfilling.
Should I tell my situationship I love him?
Whether or not to express love in a situationship depends on various factors, including your feelings, the nature of the relationship, and your desired outcome. If you genuinely feel love and believe it’s important to communicate, consider discussing your feelings openly and honestly. However, be prepared for any outcome, as the other person may not reciprocate or may not be ready for such declarations.
What hurts more than a breakup?
While breakups can be incredibly painful, other experiences may hurt even more, such as betrayal, loss of trust, or the death of a loved one. These experiences often involve deep emotional wounds and may take longer to heal than a typical breakup.
Why do short relationships hurt?
Short relationships can hurt because they often involve intense emotions and expectations, even if the duration is brief. When a connection ends prematurely, it can leave individuals feeling disappointed, rejected, or questioning their worth. Additionally, the abruptness of the breakup may leave little time for emotional processing, amplifying the pain.
Conclusion: How to End a Situationship and Stay Friends? 5 Tips to Find Peace
While staying friends can be a positive outcome, it may not be suitable for everyone. Unresolved emotions, different expectations, and the potential repetition of unhealthy patterns can hinder the transition from a situationship to a friendship. It’s crucial to recognize when staying friends may not be in the best interest of both individuals involved.
In conclusion, finding peace after ending a situationship and staying friends involves self-reflection, clear communication, patience, and higher standards for yourself.
Ultimately, individuals should prioritize their well-being and choose the path that aligns with their emotional needs and growth.